And Then There Were Two: The 12 Steps of Checking on Your Sleeping Children                                                          

The 12 Steps of Checking on Your Sleeping Children

Step 1

Loiter outside bedroom door, suddenly aware of how loudly you breathe. Decide to go in.

Step 2

Immediately regret decision when you remember how creaky the floorboards are.

Step 3

Creep ninja-like across bedroom to child's bed, trying to avoid creaking floorboards.

Step 4

Look at child in bed.

Step 5

Realise you can't tell if child is breathing or not. Poke child to check.

Step 6

Hold breath as child suddenly, but not unexpectedly thanks to the poking, stirs.

Step 7

Wince as you watch child re-settle. Release breath.

Step 8

Begin to creep back out of the room, moving in a way which suggests there are laser beams across the room like a strange sort of parent Crystal Maze. Those floorboards again.

Step 9

Freeze as child makes noise. You're probably doing unintentional yoga at this point.

Step 10

Sigh with relief as you realise child is still asleep. Continue ninja-laser walk across bedroom until you reach the door.

Step 11

Sigh with relief. Again.

Step 12

Pour wine.

Proudly linking up with
Pink Pear Bear
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows