Monday, 5 December 2016

It's OK

Parenting is a tricky business. Full of wonder and joy and......doubt. But SCREW THE DOUBT. It has no place here.

It's OK to feel guilty about conceiving easily when your friends are struggling. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful.

It's OK to have really struggled to conceive and still think FML a lot once the baby is here because CHILDREN ARE HARD FRICKING WORK. And it doesn't mean you're ungrateful.

It's OK to be ridiculously smitten by your children one minute and want to ship them off to Nanny's the next. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It doesn't mean you can't stand to be near them.

It's OK to want a large glass of gin once the kids are in bed because CHILDREN ARE HARD FRICKING WORK. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful. And it doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.

It's OK to sob uncontrollably when your 18 month old still wakes in the night and you are exhausted by the constant broken sleep. It's OK to hold him close out of all consuming love but to be slightly resentful at the same time. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It doesn't mean you're depressed.

It's OK to be annoyed at your partner because 'they get to go to work everyday' or because 'they get to stay home with the kids everyday'. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It doesn't mean you hate them. It doesn't mean you want what they have.

It's OK to mutter obscenities under your breath. It's OK to not want to read The Gruffalo AGAIN for the seventh time that day. Its OK to want to remember who you are as...you. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful. It doesn't mean you hate spending time with your children.

It's OK to feel what you feel. Its OK to say what you feel. You are feeling what a billion others are feeling, or have felt, or will feel, at some point during their lives. Don't be scared that you'll sound ungrateful or depressed or hateful or like an alcoholic.

You might be some of these things. But keeping it to yourself will NEVER help - whether you are or you aren't. And the people that want to listen are the people who'll want to help. If they're not listening, they're not worth it.

Sometimes you just need a glass of gin, or a good nights sleep. And sometimes you need to say "THIS IS HARD" out loud and have others say "I TOTALLY AGREE," just to feel like you're not failing.

You're not failing. You're parenting. And if you care enough to say "AM I FAILING?"

Then you definitely aren't.


ethannevelyn.com

21 comments:

  1. For me the hardest part of parenting has been the constant changing and conflicting emotions. Most of the time I don't even know how I am feeling. But, as you say, It's OK!
    #bigpinklink

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post is brilliant. Thank you for allowing us to expunge all our innermost fears and carry on! #bigpinklink xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this!! It really is ok to do/ feel all of the above! Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this. I feel like this all of the time but I agree, if you care enough to worry that you're doing a bad job, you're a great mother. Thank you. #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a lovely post. Parenting is a wild rollercoaster with highs and lows. Sleep deprivation definitely makes it all the more harder, so support from friends and family as well as a sympathetic ear are so essential. #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great post - I have wrote a similar one in the past. Parenting is so hard we all need to cut ourselves some slack! #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
  7. True this! It isn't all rainbows and unicorns ... #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
  8. So true- it is ok to suck at life today...which is really good cause that is where I am right now.
    #fabfriday

    ReplyDelete
  9. Such a great post. Parenting really is a rollercoaster or emotions, and that's ok x
    #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very reassuring post, particularly as every day is filled with all of these constant dilemmas! #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is lovely. Thank you. Parenthood is full of conflicting and contradictory emotions. There are days when I love every second. There are other days when I cannot wait to get Cygnet to bed and I have a short fuse. It is okay, and you're right, questioning ourselves about whether we are failing is both normal and an indication that we are probably not failing. Thanks. Pen x #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  12. We have to keep questioning to now we are doing our best #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
  13. So true! I have felt all these things. And I'm still a pretty good mom! Parenting is hard. Life with kids is hard. Have that glass of gin, or wine, share your stress with others, and take a few deep breaths. You can deal however you need to. So do it!
    ~Jess
    #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  14. Parenting is such an emotional rollercoaster and it is hard work. If you don't have moments of doubt then you're probably doing it wrong. #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is spot on. It is Ok to feel all of the above and more! Parenting is the hardest job in the world and if we don;t cut ourselves some slack then who will? #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
  16. You have put the words into my mouth! Parenting is FRICKING hard! But it's okay. Beautifully written. xx #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  17. That's fantastic. I particularly love the last line! #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  18. You are absolutely right, parenting is one hell of a rollercoaster, but it's OK to feel like you're on top of the world one minute, and like you're the worst mum ever the next. We're only human doing our very best.
    #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love this post so much. You are spot on! It's hard work bringing up children and we should all be supporting each other not judging each others actions #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ohhh, this totally spoke to me. Sometimes I don't want to complain to my husband because I don't want him to think that I want to go back to work, because I don't! So I usually DO keep it to myself or bitch to the moms at preschool when I'm dropping off the kids. (They hardly know me, but have yet to give me a judgmental look, thank God!) I'll be bookmarking this one to go back to when I'm having a bad mom day. Thank you! #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete

  21. An amazing testimony on a Native Iya Hindi root and herbs who help me to get pregnant, So me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the last 2 years now. I don’t have a regular cycle so it is hard for me to tell when I’m ovulating or not, but we always have sex at least 3 times a week, sometimes more. I know it can take up to a year to conceive but everyone i know who have had a baby have conceived within 2-3months of trying and it is really getting to me. my partner had a fertility test about a year ago and his sperm were fine. I’m thinking it could be a problem with me but I’ve never had any symptoms of any problems. My partner does smoke and have the occasional drink, and i used to smoke and also have the occasional drink. i know i’m slightly overweight but that shouldn’t affect our chances too much, one faithful day my friend told me to contact Native Iya Hindi that help her sister, then i contact the email. hindinative@yahoo.com,He sent the Herbs to me and gave instruction on method after three weeks the doctor confirm that i am pregnant thank you Native Iya Hindi for helping me get a baby, I am thankful for all he had done. contact him via email:(hindinative@yahoo.com .Or whats App number+19145295224), if you are trying to get a baby.

    ReplyDelete