And Then There Were Two: Before We Met...                                                          

Before We Met...

    
I knew things would be different. Though I naively only thought of the wonderful ways in which things would alter. It never occurred to me that I would be bored, or frustrated or even a bit sad sometimes. But I also underestimated the joy I would find in the tiniest, formerly insignificant moments in my day. I knew things would change.

But until we met, I never realised just how much.

Before we met...

I knew I'd have sleepless nights. Everyone tells you about them when you're pregnant. Though it never occurred to me that you would wake in the night from nightmares, or wind. Or because you were too hot or cold or that you just wanted a cuddle. But I also underestimated how amazing it would feel to feed you and watch you fall back asleep in my arms. I knew I would lose sleep.

But until we met, I never realised just how much.

Before we met...

I knew I'd do anything to protect you. Though I hadn't considered the everyday dangers that come with a toddler learning to walk who insists on putting everything in his mouth. It never occurred to me that you would try to eat the dog's food or be fascinated by the light of the oven or fall over twenty times a day whilst learning to stay on your feet. But I also underestimated how fiercely I wanted to protect you from seemingly trivial things in your future, like someone laughing at you when you start school because you can't pronounce 'L' yet. I knew I wanted to protect you.

But until we met, I never realised just how much.

Before we met...

I knew I would change. I knew I'd have to cut back on luxuries like new shoes and a fancy car. Though it never occurred to me that the centre of my world would shift. That I would have a completely different focus and that, as a result, everything else in my life would be more important, heightened as a result of that shift in focus. I knew I'd have to become a bit more organised, a bit less spontaneous and a bit less selfish.

But until we met, I never realised just how much.

Before we met...

I knew I loved your Daddy. I knew I loved him for the person he is and the person he has made me. Though it never occurred to me that I would love him all over again for the father he is. I imagined him cuddling you and just the thought of it melted my heart. But I also underestimated how it would make me proud to hear him teach you things and carry you on his shoulders and get up with you in the night. I knew I'd love him as a Daddy.

But until we met, I never realised just how much.

Before we met...

I knew I loved you. It was overwhelming right from the start. How two little lines on a stick you have just urinated on can make you fall in love so immediately and wholly is quite magnificent really. Though it never occurred to me that I could feel this strength of love for you. I underestimated it. Big time.

I knew I loved you.

But until we met, I never realised just how much.



Labels: